Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

life is satire, life is irony, life is paradox. what is the difference between these words?? to me, they are very similar, very confusing and of no meaning to me and i didn’t understand at all when i was young. one more word, cynicism, all foreign, all so abstract.

words are what i lack. i don’t know how to express myself, i don’t know how to talk because i don’t know how and i don’t know a lot of things. but my parents have always been there for me. and so have been my friends. my father has the spirit of righteousness that i see. my mother is a caregiver, her heart is soft and she never fails to treat people with smile and greetings.

these are words which describe my father and mother now. it is not needed to remind me as of my friends, for i believe lately i think of little else than of them. these were not what i saw when i was young.

i love plants, i love pets, i love silence, i love stories, i love movies and i am playful and curious. curiosity kills the cat, but luckily the cat has nine lives! i had been played. so now i play and will play. life is a joke. life is absurd, incongruous, whatever meaning, it is contradicting. it is all the reverse you should play to win the game of life. this is life, full of mysteries, full of wonders. if only you know the truth and you begin to see the real side.

time i wake up, time i accomplish my mission.

today, i have reached my life of climax. life is a play — used to study literature, and studied poetry and shakespeare’s plays like merchant of venice. this is the subject i dread most, for i don’t understand the words. teachers told the meaning, but i could only hear the words but not feel them but not see the meaning.

in other subjects, i am excited, curious and eager to learn. i am self-motivated to learn, to read and study myself.

i tell you, i can achieve what i want. i never fail to achieve and get what i want, if only i really want. but what i want is not just happiness….

what i want and what i see and what i get is always not happiness…

i failed badly for literature, i failed badly for history, and i failed in english. i scored for maths, science and arts. my greatest ability, mathematics. my greatest interest painting and making — building homes….

work and play was all i interested. i disregard language, words.

never had i realized that words are so important. words can change lives, words are knowledge and knowledge is power. but it is different story….

i have always done what i wasn’t supposed to do. yahi kehana chahoonga ki “manjilon se rahein dhoondta chala”.

i tell you, i am bestowed with a special gift today. it is the hardest belief, and the most seemingly impossible dream, a dream of mine, a childhood dream, a dream which seemed forgotten and had lost hope. but i am gifted. i am gifted — what people cannot see, i can see. what people experience i might not notice, but i can hear and i can learn, and i know.

today, i have courage more than ever. i am fearless because i know what my purpose is and i know what i have to do. i am clearer than ever and i know i can bring the change to life of others. i have found out what i was always looking for.

THIS ISN’T A STORY ABOUT A FABLED CHARACTER BUT A PERSON LIKE YOU AND ME, SOMEONE I KNEW AND SHARED SOME PRECIOUS MOMENTS WITH, A FRIEND WHO HAS NOW DISSOLVED IN THE AIR AROUND ME LEAVING ME HOLLOW AND DIZZY WITH THE SCENT THAT NOW ONLY RESIDES IN THE MEMORIES LEFT.


I OPENED THE DOOR, YOUR HAND IN MINE, I WAS HAPPY, I WAS ME.I HAD NO DOUBT THE WORLD WAS DARK BUT I HAD THE LIGHT, I WAS FREE ,I WAS FREE TO FLY, SO I FLEW, FLEW HIGH, HIGHER THAN I HAD EVER DREAMT,HIGHER THAN I HAD EVER IMAGINED, HIGHER THAN I HAD EVER THOUGHT THE SKY EXISTED. THE SOFTNESS IN MY HAND,THE FIRMNESS IN MY HAND WAS ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE ME FEEL COSY.BUT EVERYTHING WAS CHANGING,WHY ? I DIDN’T KNOW THEN I DON’T KNOW NOW. BUT I REMEMBER I FELT YOUR HAND SLIPPING.I TRIED TO GET YOU BACK BUT,BUT YOU PUSHED, YOU PUSHED ME AWAY.I HAD LOST. THEY HAD WON. I WATCHED YOU SLOWLY FADING AWAY. I FELL………………………………


I OPENED MY EYES. THE FLOWERS WERE BLOOMING.THE BIRDS WERE CHIRPING.I HEARD THE SQUIRRELS SQUEAKING. TEARS IN MY EYES, I LOOKED AROUND. THIS WAS MY PLACE.THIS WAS MY WORLD.MY PERFECT WORLD OR SO I THOUGHT.


BUT YOU HADN’T LEFT, AND YOU RETURNED TO SUFFOCATE ME WITH YOUR IMAGE, YOUR SMELL, YOUR VOICE.I KNOW YOU DIDN’T MEAN IT BUT THAT WASN’T AN EXCUSE. YOU KNEW EVERYTHING.ITS THE WAY I FELL I CAN’T FORGIVE YOU. HATRED FOR YOU, YOU ARE A POISON FOR ME. NO, DON’T, STAY AWAY, NOOOOOOOOOOO. I FELL TO THE GROUND. MY SKIN IS TURNING BLUE.I CAN’T FEEL THE PAIN ANY MORE. I CAN SEE YOU SHRIEKING, PERHAPS CRYING FOR HELP.BUT I CAN’T HEAR YOU. ITS SO PEACEFUL. I AM SO PEACEFUL, I AM HAPPY, I HAVE MY REVENGE, I CLOSE MY EYES AS THE WAVES OF MY BLOOD CLOSE ON US.

I LOVE HER

Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess.

We seek it thus and take it to the sky.

Ripples form on the watery surface.

The wandering soul knows no rest.

Even if tomorrow is baron of promises,

Nothing shall forestall my return.

Before I start telling you my story,

I would like to tell you that I believe in love at first sight.

I have my very own little story. It happened to me and I am sure it has happened to a lot of other people. I'm hoping you have some coffee beside you, to keep you awake as you read this! Just thought I'd warn you!

One day, after finishing from work I went to catch the bus home as I usually did. As I took a turn she was there. She stopped me in my tracks dumbfounded. She was in complete white, grand and dramatically beautiful. It took my breath away. I felt something I had never felt in my life before-- what I believe to be true love.

As moments passed, I came to realize that I was standing on a road. After all there’s a difference between appreciating and staring. I slightly hid behind the trees on the left.

She did not whisper to get my attention, nor did she purposely radiate her beauty. She was there, right in front of me. I stood there watching her. For how long, I don’t remember. If one cannot describe beauty, don’t think twice, just adore it!

After a while I gathered courage and as I passed her I gave her a smile. Our eyes locked, for a moment she looked at me and then she gave me a smile. The best one I had ever seen. I sat opposite to her. She is breathtakingly beautiful, I said to myself. I was speechless. I was so incredibly excited. But that was okay, after all, it is part of the process, isn’t it? For the whole time we kept on looking at each other.

That day when I reached home I felt this emptiness inside. I just couldn't stop thinking about her. A week passed and I still remembered the way our eyes joined and the incredible smile she gave me. I went to the same spot praying I would see her again. No luck, she wasn't there. A week later I was sitting at the same spot, hoping, when someone came and sat next to me. When I looked, I realized that it was her. We both smiled at each other like we were so happy to see each other again. Slowly we became even more fascinated about each other.

Everyday I tried to resist myself from seeing her, but I couldn’t. I was obsessed. I am obsessed.

But there’s a gap between us, a gap that I am working hard to fill.

Anyway, life is life and we have to stick with it. Enjoy it while you can cause once u die u won’t be able to understand. I just want her to know that forever she will be in my heart. I will never forget her.

You can’t imagine how I gasp now each time I see blue with white?!? Be still my beating heart!

By the way her name

Audi R8

I don't believe I would love somebody Just to pass the time.

about me

Living in dreams is what life is for me. Turning back and watching is something I do often to introspect on what I have achieved from it and what could have been done better. But frankly speaking it has been a roller coaster ride for me till now. Life isn’t always perfect so what do you do? Evolution is the essence. I am person who believes in flexibility of ideas. Hitting a wall with your head is what most do on facing it. And the result is imaginable. I believe in use of resources to its best. A wall however impregnable and resilient can be blown up with ingenious use of explosives. The way you use your pawns can bring change to the game. I have firm belief in what I do and it simply is matter of time before the wind flow supports me. We all face hurdles and each gives us a chance to reach our goal. How well you cross these hurdles is what depends on how well you braced yourself for the big day. The angle at which you see things is what makes all the difference. A straight line won’t fork into two if you don’t strive for it. A simple pencil, and a simple idea is all it takes to design a sky scrapper. Closing eyes to dispel our fear is the stupidest mistake we make. Risky is a word people have given to our way of doing things. Nimbus and waves make me jump on my surfboard. Exploring things in new ways is what is the strongest of my points. I don’t need to give a second thought to what I do cause my first opinion is always so strong that a three hour lecture isn’t enough to put a crack in it. Enjoyment in doing things differently is not everyone’s cup of tea. I am a straightforward daring, outspoken, smashing, visionary, ostentatious, calm, meticulous, robust, nonbelligerent, thoughtful, meek, noncommittal, vivid, artistic, nonchalant nob. Once somebody said to me that its better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. But I prefer to live with aces than ninnies. A fickle flame is always in danger of being blown out. Its not a solution to put it in a calm room. I would rather be a wild fire. Timing everything so that nothing goes incommensurate is important to me. So my life goes by alarm clocks. But there is a break in my car. So I am not afraid of my speed. Fear of breaking your legs doesn’t put you back from the slalom. A coffee break and a snappy chat is all I need to know what’s beneath your skin. If you are smart enough to see, then you will agree that there are a lot more dunderheads around than astute. And this means business. Nevertheless dessert is no place for you if you are afraid of singeing. For that boy you have to,mind it you have to forget the oil. Emotions are fetters in this world. Being astonished means something caught you off guard. Never confuse a singlet with a bulletproof jacket. There’s no alibi to ignorance. You always need your engines warmed up before a race. A winning combination is always an assortment of brain and resources. Sometimes we need to prune our plants to maintain there elegance in addition to nurturing it. This means somebody is gotta get hurt. And now is when the steadiness of our hand matters the most. At times we chagrin, and forget that the game is still in progress till the checkmate. Declivity has got to end somewhere. A dormant pawn has the power to turn into queen one day. Ensconcing oneself is easy when you reach a safe point. But is there a limit to the sky? One who believes that he has defeated every body has one who he can never excel. And its he himself, the toughest of all the opponents, because this time the rival is bettering himself with his every move. Its pretty easy to live a life, but damn tough to leave an impact on a mass in your lifetime. Only those who know the effect of belladonna know its importance. Appreciating potential is tough but yet significant if you realize that a mildew is enough to get one sick. I try to avoid conspicuous innuendo paradoxical statements. A moment of mockery can make you lose a lifetime accomplice. And then it would do no good to sit in a monastery. A few fine points don’t consume much but return more. Try leaving your palomino’s crupper’s buckle untied, and then you definitely would agree. It’s the moment you think that’s the epoch making step that reduces the stretch between you and a big shot. And finally how parky the weather may be, your Bugatti Veyron is always gonna turn heads.